OUTSPOKEN RECOMMENDS…

FOR PARENTS

GENERAL READING

Beyond Birds & Bees


Beyond Birds & Bees by Bonnie J. Rough Bringing Home a New Message to Our Kids About Sex, Love and Equality – by Bonnie J Rough (Seal, 2018) An excellent experiential explanation of the Dutch approach to sex education and normalising sex that intermixes family anecdote, societal/cultural observation and personal interrogation about being honest with ourselves & open with our children




Teenagers Translated


A Parent’s Survival Guide – by Janey Downshire and Naella Grew (Penguin, 2018) Two counsellors translate their own parenting and teaching experiences into explanations of the links between the roller-coaster emotions, physiology and challenging behaviour of adolescent development, and along the way offer clear, helpful, relatable advice




The Incredible Teenage Brain


By Bettina Hohnen, Jane Gilmour and Tara Murphy (Jessica Kingsley, 2019) Written by three psychologists, this readable book presents neuroscience, case studies and action points in a user-friendly way. It delivers a hands-on understanding of teens’ brain development, motivations and behaviour along with tips on how we can make the most of opportunities to support them. Read more here




The Teenage Brain


A Neuroscientist’s Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults – by Dr Frances E Jensen with Amy Ellis Nutt (HarperCollins, 2015) An accessible blend of insight into how stress, sleep, risk taking, decision making, gender, drugs, alcohol, ”the digital invasion” etc propel teenagers’ impulsiveness and moods plus first-hand experiences from the neuroscientist mother of two sons




Inventing Ourselves


The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain – by Professor Sarah-Jayne Blakemore (Doubleday, 2018) Viewing teenagers as being in the midst of great creativity rather than just self-absorbed moods, this is a neuroscience look at how teenagers are establishing new thinking patterns, a sense of self and their identity




Brainstorm


The Power And Purpose of the Teenage Brain – by Daniel J Siegel, MD (Scribe, 2014) Billed as “an inside-out guide to the emerging adolescent brain, ages 12-24”, Brainstorm helps parents to understand teenage impulses, creativity and novelty-seeking, the workings of their own brain and how teens and adults can connect.





FOCUS ON... GIRLS

Modern Mothering


What Daughters Say They Need From Their Mothers – by Joyce McFadden (Palgrave Macmillan, 2011) Incredible insight into how women can approach relaxing into talking openly about bodies, sex etc while also looking at the mother/daughter issues with their own mothers that they bring to their relationships with their girls. Hear what daughters say they need from their mothers when it comes to learning about their sexuality, and learn how much more present they want us to be throughout our lives together




From Daughter to Woman


Parenting Girls Safely Through Their Teens – by Kim McCabe (Robinson, 2018) Encouraging an intuitive, understanding and empathic parenting style that engages mothers with self-reflection and gives practical guidance




Girls & Sex


Navigating the Complicated New Landscape – by Peggy Orenstein (Oneworld, 2016) Brilliant insight and research – from the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture – into how girls are confronting the sexual pressures they are up against in this digital world




Where Has My Little Girl Gone?


by Tanith Carey (Lion, 2011) A clear look at consumerism, sexualisation of children, clothes and make-up, body language, pornification of music videos, pressures of social media around thinness and perfectionism, self-esteem, power of openness. With tips for mothers/fathers




21st Century Girls


How the Modern World is Damaging Our Daughters and What We Can Do About It – by Sue Palmer (Orion, 2014) Originally subtitled "How female minds develop; how to raise bright, balanced girls; and why today's world needs them more than ever", this book from an educational expert and the author of Toxic Childhood is clear and informative





FOCUS ON... BOYS

Boys & Sex


Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity - Peggy Orenstein (Harper, 2020) Though young men are rarely asked about sex, intimacy, porn, vulnerability, love and relationships, it turns out they have lots to say. In the wake of MeToo, and on the heels of her other amazing study Girls & Sex, writer Peggy Orenstein documents their feelings, attitudes and behaviour in this surprising and moving book




Man Up: Boys Men and Breaking the Male Rules.


by Rebecca Asher (Harvill Secker, 2016) How to change how we limit boys' attitudes and behaviour through expectations and ideals of male anger, feelings, power, value etc. Fascinating and well written




Raising Boys in the 21st Century (new & updated)


by Steve Biddulph (Harper Thorsons, 2018) A renowned expert in child development, Biddulph talks about sexuality, sports, mothers and sons, boys' vs girls' brains etc – a recently revised classic




Be A Man: How Macho Culture Damages Us And How To Escape It


by Chris Hemmings (Biteback, 2017) A personal, readable look at how the constraints of traditional masculinity and lad culture affect men and women – by a journalist, broadcaster and "former lad"




21st Century Boys: How Modern life is driving them off the rails and how we can get them back on track


How Modern life is driving them off the rails and how we can get them back on track – by Sue Palmer (Orion, 2010) Well-researched insights into development, competitiveness, risk taking, social skills, pressures from peers and media, male role models (good and bad) etc




Teens: What We’re Really Thinking (When We’re Not Saying Anything)


by Paul Bühre, 15 (Scribe, 2016) A 15-year-old boy from Germany gives his point of view on video games, porn, conflicts with parents, mood swings, girl/boy dynamics etc





FOR CHILDREN

YOUNGER CHILDREN

Let’s Talk About Sex


Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health – by Robie H Harris and Michael Emberley (Walker, 2010) A 1990s classic, with fun illustrations (and sarcastic cartoon characters who mirror and offset possible reader awkwardness) – updated for the internet era




How A Baby Is Made


by Per Holm Knudsen (Piccolo, 1975) An engaging, straightforward book with basic, iconic drawings illustrating love, sex and birth – beloved in Scandinavia, and with good reason




Where Willy Went


by Nicholas Allan (Red Fox, 2006) Picture book depicting Willy the sperm competing to reach the egg




Strong Is the New Pretty


by Kate Parker (Workman, 2017) Stunning photographs of athletic girls – their pride and confidence are inspiring




Tough Guys Have Feelings Too


by Keith Negley (Flying Eye, 2015) Picture book of superheroes, knights, wrestlers and dads showing their feelings




Hello, Sailor


by Ingrid Godon (Macmillan, 2003) On his lighthouse Matt waits for the return of Sailor. A subtly implied love story





PRE-TEENS & YOUNG TEENS

The Girl Guide


50 Ways to Learn to Love Your Changing Body - Marawa Ibrahim (Harper, 2017) Sharp, catchy, direct, and full of photos and fun graphics. Marawa tells her own stories and gives big-sisterly advice on high heels, braces, hair everywhere, periods, parents, exercise, self-consciousness, self-esteem etc




Below Your Belt


How To Be Queen of Your Pelvic Region - Missy Lavener and Jeni Donatelli Ihm (Women’s Health Foundation, 2015) A light-hearted, cartoon-illustrated guide to periods, pelvic floor exercises, UTIs (urinary tract infections), digestion, vulvas and vaginas etc




My Little Red Book


by Rachel Kauder-Nalebuff (Twelve, 2009) Demystifying, honest stories from women of all ages – and from all around the world – recalling when, where and how they got their first period




Period


by Natalie Byre (Break The Habit, 2018) Amusing and informative illustrations covering periods, moods, cycles, slang, hormones, mental health and differences in bodies simply and with style




Dr Christian’s Guide to Growing Up Online


Staying Safe in a Digital World - Dr Christian Jessen (Scholastic, 2018) In a handbook of bright, multi-font Q&As, the eminent Embarrassing Bodies star tackles social media, cyberbullying, selfies, group chats, Instagram, digital footprints, binge watching TV, parental controls & more




Being A Boy


by James Dawson (Hot Key, 2013) Chapter titles include: The new Alpha Male; Looking good; Pubes and sex stuff; Always wear a condom; The school dictionary. Interestingly, the author has since come out and is now Juno Dawson, an activist




Blame My Brain


The Amazing Teenage Brain Revealed - Nicola Morgan (Walker, 2013) Neuroscience for young people with explanations, tests, advice





OLDER TEENAGERS

Open: A Toolkit for How Magic and Messed Up Life Can Be


by Gemma Cairney (Macmillan, 2017) Affirmative, honest, exuberant – information and anecdotes on love, life, families, friendship etc from the dynamic BBC broadcaster and gender-equality advocate




Doing It: Let’s Talk About Sex


by Hannah Witton (Wren & Rook, 2017) The vivacious, no-holds-barred YouTuber expertly delves into top sex-ed topics like consent, pleasure, body image, sexting, virginity, contraception and LGBTQ+ issues…




Respect: Everything a Guy Needs to Know About Sex, Love and Consent


by Inti Chavez Perez (Little Brown, 2019) Luckily this book got lots of coverage when it came out. Written by a sex educator, it’s a clearly explained post-MeToo approach to consent with solid, practical, honest advice and anecdotes about first times, how female and male bodies work, getting physical, sexuality, rejection, sexting, pressures and expectations




Girl Up: Kick Ass, Claim Your Woman Card and Crush Everyday Sexism


by Laura Bates (Touchstone, 2017) From the founder of Everyday Sexism, an empowering manual to get teenagers questioning societal attitudes and behaviour around sex, bodies, gender, body shaming, revenge porn, dealing with sexting, sex ed etc




Sex & Lovers: A Practical Guide


by Ann-Marlene Henning (Cameron & Hollis, 2014) Seemingly revolutionary for its explicit photos of real-life couples making love, this is a refreshingly upfront storehouse of information about bodies, pleasure and open communication in healthy intimate relationships from a Danish sex therapist




How to Have Feminist Sex: A Fairly Graphic Guide


by Flo Perry (Penguin, 2019) What’s the best thing about this graphic-novel guidebook to sex, pleasure & asserting yourself? The diverse bodies, the genuine warmth and spiritedness of writer/illustrator Flo (daughter of psychotherapist Philippa and artist Grayson Perry), the great advice, the angle of learning about sex & sexiness from culture? It’s all fab!




Drawn to Sex: The Basics


by Erika Moen & Matthew Nolan (Limerence Press, 2018) This creative duo tackles subjects like ”Doin’ It Safely”, “Doin’ It With Yourself” and “Doin’ It With Other People” – it’s very graphic, so not everyone’s cup of tea, but it comes highly praised and it’s clearly open hearted along with open minded. A how-to manual in comic-book form




Fruit of Knowledge: The Vulva Vs The Patriarchy


by Liv Strömquist (Virago, 2018) Informal, informative graphic-novel format looking at historical attitudes to periods and women's anatomy from a fun, frank, sociological perspective




Vagina-Nomics


Biannual journal, print or digital. Issue #1: 2018 The first feminist magazine destigmatising female pleasure through art and design – with interviews, photos, poems and great graphics covering periods, pain, porn, celebratory jewellery and even a quiz on erotic intelligence and sexual introspection




It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living


by Dan Savage (Penguin, 2012) Reassurance from LGBT people – and straight celebs/politicians – to young LGBT readers about coming out. An offshoot of It Gets Better, which features 60,000 short videos. It Gets Better UK launched in October 2018. School libraries should stock this book to expand the horizons of heteronormative kids & validate LGBT lives