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“Why does Jake have 2 mummies?


Your 4-year-old starts noticing other families

Mom with Stroller
Mom with Stroller

Expert Response #1

It starts with love

Jake has two mummies because his mummies love each other and they wanted to have a family together so they could share their love with Jake

Dr Sarah Welsh, gynaecologist, co-founder of Hanx

Expert Response #2

Same, not different

There are lots of ways of being a family. The important thing is that children have grown-ups who look after them and love them and help them grow up

Petra Nordqvist, senior lecturer in sociology, University of Manchester

Expert Response #3

Other family examples

Families come in lots of different shapes and sizes. Some people have one parent, some have two parents and other people have carers, guardians or grandparents who care for them. There are step-parents, adoptive parents and foster parents too!

Amy Forbes-Robertson, partner,

It Happens... Let’s Talk About It

Whatever you say next, keep these things in mind…

  • Include everyone – because the spirit of diversity and acceptance isn’t all about sexual orientation or even about who’s in the family. People can be different from our family in the jobs they do, the homes they live in and their celebrations and religion or lack of religion too

  • Try to emphasise what’s important about families, which usually brings out the similarities and not the differences. All families are built on those little family traditions, celebrations, care and love

  • Ask some follow-up questions: do you know of any other families different from ours or Jake’s? How would it feel to be different from most people?

  • If it feels right, encourage your child to talk to Jake about his family. What is it like? How does he feel?



More help with questions from younger kids about LGBT+ issues…

Child and Youth Health diversity factshe
CHILD AND YOUTH HEALTH  |  What is diversity?

This factsheet offers some nice language around diversity, prejudice and stereotypes – and “giving someone a fair go”  Go to What Is Diversity >

AMAZE  |  Different kinds of families 

This short animated video from shows how families come in many different shapes and sizes – none of them right or wrong  Go to Different Kinds Of Families >

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CBEEBIES  |  Odd Dog Out

Odd Dog Out by Rob Biddulph, read by Tom Hardy for CBeebies Bedtime Stories, is fun for all the family  Go to Odd Dog Out >

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QUEER KID STUFF  |  What does GAY mean?!?

Simple video, complete with teddy, blackboard and perky presenter – from a site that offers LGBT+ and social-justice media for all ages  Go to What does GAY mean?!? > 

More Outspoken advice on #Sexuality&Identity

The full guide

Tips for this age

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Teach sex ed at home

Remember: every child is different. Adjust these suggestions for the age and stage of your child. Children with special educational needs and disabilities, looked-after children and children who have experienced abuse may all need different support.


If you’re in doubt about your child’s emotional, physical or psychological development, please seek the advice of a professional

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