Adolescence: a wake-up call for parents

It’s taken the Netflix series Adolescence – which aired on 13 March 2025 – to meet the moment and galvanise people worldwide into talking about masculinity, the pressures boys and young men are up against, and the alarming factors influencing their attitudes and behaviour. The powerful one-take-per-episode show unleashed a blizzard of analysis, emotive reactions and even pronouncement by politicians. Sex educators say the show is readymade for conversations around the dark sides of social media, the manosphere, toxic influencers, male rage and vulnerability, misogyny, the developing brain, risk-taking, identity, teen relationships and parent-child communication, among other issues.

So see what conversations you can start using our round-up of interesting commentary…

• “We think we know our kids. This was one of the main takeaways for parents watching Adolescence. We didn’t know that we didn’t know. I thought I was deeply in tune with my own teen boys. We talked a lot. I knew their friends, what sports they liked to play, their grades and teachers, taste in music, what they liked on their pizza, even sometimes if they had a crush on someone. I thought that was enough. It was not always enough. I didn’t know anything about their digital universe. I could be sitting right beside them, looking at the same social media feed, and I would not have known that danger was in plain sight but so cleverly hidden from me, or if they were suffering or making someone else suffer. Most nights I went to sleep happy with my sweet boys. My growing boys. My sensitive boys. Believing we inhabited the same world. That the cliches from my own bout with puberty would apply to them”

– from My Reaction To Adolescence Made Me Question Myself As A Mom Of Sons – blog post (Scary Mommy, 25/3/25)

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• “Adolescence isn’t required viewing for parents, but the issues it raises are already in our homes, schools and kids’ pockets. Whether it’s a 6th grader being teased in a group chat, an 8th grader silently comparing his body to what he sees on TikTok or a freshman trying to act tougher than he feels, these moments matter.

What kids need most isn’t control – it’s connection. Talk about the pressures boys, and girls, are quietly facing. Talk to your son about what he’s seeing online around body image, fitness and masculinity. Ask him what it feels like to be a boy in today’s world. Help him name and question the pressure to be physically strong or sexually experienced before he’s ready. Normalise being a late bloomer, soft-hearted, unsure”

– from What Parents Can Learn from Netflix’s Adolescence About Teens and Tech – Screenagers blog post (Dr Delaney Ruston, 8/4/25)

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• “The biggest takeaway is not social media: meaningful conversations between parents and children is more important”

– from Netflix series highlights need to talk – professor (BBC, 25/3/25)

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• “If I could wave a magic wand, I would make watching Adolescence mandatory for all parents. I really like the idea that parents and carers are watching it with their teenaged children and it prompting discussions. In schools, however, it feels like it could backfire”

– from Adolescence in All British Schools: some thoughts – blog post by mental health and young people expert Natasha Devon (1/4/25)  

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• “Continuing to embrace your son through his adolescence sets a healthy example. When he’s working out what it means to be a man, it teaches him that it’s OK to show emotion, to be vulnerable, to need, feel and express love. What happens when fathers hold back, when all they offer is stoic encouragement and laddish jokes? Others rush in to fill the void. And they don't fill it with love; they fill it with hate”

– from That scene in Adolescence – blog post (Carl Honoré, 7/4/25)

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• “1) Social media is everything to (most) preteens In Adolescence it isn’t just background noise in their lives but pretty much a main character. It shapes how they see themselves, how they think others see them. Every post, like and comment is a vote on their worth, leaving these kids wondering: ‘Am I hot/cool/popular enough?’ They feel they can never log off – if they do, they risk missing out. The algorithm feeds their insecurities and keeps them hooked even when they know it’s not healthy.

What I did find new (even though I pride myself on being up-to-date with preteen slang) is the emoji language the kids were using

2) The manosphere is alive and well It’s made up of harmful online communities that push warped ideas about masculinity, power and control. Seeping in quietly, it’s often disguised as ‘self-improvement’ or ‘confidence building’. And social media platforms (hi, algorithm 👋) serve up content to feed kids’ insecurities:

🤮 Gender stereotypes (‘Women just want money and status’)

🤮 Control tactics (‘Here’s how to “win” in relationships’)

🤮 Us-vs-them mentalities (‘It’s men against the world’)

3) The cycle of violence is no joke Jamie’s dad grew up in an environment where explosive anger, emotional suppression and power struggles were the norm. But he wants and tries to do better. Even when we know the patterns, old wiring runs deep. The good news? Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle

4) Parenting comes with anguish. So much anguish This theme of doubt and self-reflection is one of the most powerful aspects of Adolescence – something all parents can relate to at some point (🙋🏽‍♀️) and it’s portrayed with such rawness.

Jamie’s parents are trapped in an agonizing loop of self-doubt and second-guessing. Every time something goes wrong, they spiral: ‘Could we have done more?’

Fun fact: There is no such thing as perfect parenting. We’re all learning on the job. The show also shows the small but critical things Jamie’s parents did right…

✅ They cared deeply

✅ Even when Jamie shut down, they didn’t stop trying

✅ They kept the door open

5) Now what?! You’ve either watched Adolescence or you’re preparing yourself and probably wondering 🎥 Should I watch it with my kid? Or will it just freak them out?

This show can spark important conversations – but it’s also sensitive, heavy and requires a thoughtful approach. Watching it with your kid depends on…

🌟 Age & maturity For preteens or young teens, the themes are intense: online grooming, social media pressures, violence, toxic masculinity. If your child is around 13+ and emotionally ready, watching together can be valuable. But preview it first!

🌟 Your kid If you already have open conversations about tough topics, this can be an opportunity. If your child tends to shut down, it might be better to watch it solo first and bring up parts of it casually later

🌟 Your comfort level Watching it together gives you live moments to pause and check in, but it’s also OK to watch separately and then debrief

🧡 Pro tip: Even if you watch it alone, let your child know why you’re watching it — and that you’re open to chatting about any of it at any time

How do you get your preteen talking? I created a free online workshop that gives you a game plan to talk about the challenges the kids in the show quietly (or not-so-quietly) face – you can find it here

👉🏼 navigating the pressure cooker that is social media, including disastrous messages about who they should and shouldn’t be

👉🏼 appreciating their changing bodies as they compare them to others’

👉🏼 coping with bullying and harassment when all they want is to fit in

– from I almost gave up on this show… but I’m so glad I didn’t – Saleema Noon Sexual Health Educators blog post (12/4/25) We are great fans of Saleema Noon’s approach!

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• “What if, instead of teaching boys to be the strongest or the fastest, we taught them to be the most caring? Gendered pressures begin at birth. Talk to your children, talk to your friends, talk to your parents”

– from anti-rape movement organisation Everyone’s Invited Instagram post (27/3/25)

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• “Parenting in this day and age is confronting. This series is designed to motivate us to be the parents we need to be in our kids’ lives. Delay as long as possible. Monitor what they do online. Use safety software. Notice when they aren’t right. Communicate, communicate, communicate, and then some. Show up and stay close”

– from The One Thing Netflix’s Adolescence The One Thing Netflix’s Adolescence Gets Wrong – And Why I’m Glad It –  blog post by parent coach Michelle Mitchell

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• “‘If you’ve got children, they’re gonna know a lot more than you,’ said Thomas Michael, who has led workshops explaining the manosphere to parents and school staff. ‘They’re gonna be aware of it. So talk to them about it, be open. The main thing is educating yourself and knowing what to look out for.’

[Adolescence writer Jack Thorne says:] ‘How do we help kids? How do we help boys? How do we stop boys harming girls? Those conversations, it takes all of us to have them’”

– from How toxic masculinity, Andrew Tate and the online “manosphere” inspired Netflix’s Adolescence (NBC News, 20/3/25)

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“Watching the show with her son, age 15, Sex Positive Families founder Melissa Pintor Carnagey said on Instagram…

We were in awe This series drew us into the layered family and community dynamics. It didn’t rely on sensationalised or graphic scenes. Just raw emotions, honest and often hard conversations. We witnessed them together

We learned… what it can be like to be a young teen, boy, girl, a helping professional, teacher, parent and community in this age of social media. We witnessed moments that influence a person’s inner voice, body image, self-esteem, sense of belonging, triggers, actions towards themself and others

We talked A lot. Pausing the video frequently to make space for our reactions and processing. In the pauses we talked about family, social media, bullying, misogyny, the legal system, toxic masculinity, emojis, feelings, parenting, intergenerational trauma, fear, loneliness, beauty standards, race, school systems, white privilege, anger and love. We had important, brave conversations

We felt It was a lot but it wasn’t too much. By the final scene, we were both with watery eyes. The empathy and compassion we experienced was important

We connected It felt like we were watching the behind-the-scenes of people’s real lives, moments we don’t typically get to witness. My son’s first words as the credits rolled were: ‘That was powerful.’ I agree, and I feel grateful for the connected experience we had. We hope more families take time out to watch and connect”

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• “Adolescence perfectly presents the subtleness of gender stereotypes and gender attitudes pervasive in society. How they shape the way we talk to and about each other, what we expect from ourselves and each other, and how we treat ourselves and others when those expectations are not fulfilled. We should prioritise education that addresses the gender stereotypes and attitudes that normalise gender-based violence and misogyny.

Questions to start conversations based on Adolescence

• When Jamie calls himself ‘ugly’ we get an insight into how he views himself and his self-esteem – how does this connect to his actions?

• Beyond online, where else do we learn ideas?

• Why did the boy who received a topless photo of Katie spread it around? What did he gain by doing this?

• Why did Jamie think Katie was ‘easier to get’ after photos of her were leaked? How do you feel about that?

• What did Jamie feel when Katie rejected him? Why?”

– from What can we learn about masculinity and misogyny from the Netflix drama Adolescence? – blog post (Bold Voices, 20/3/25)

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• “The pressure on boys to be dominant, sexually confident, emotionless is undoubtedly linked to the normalisation of sexual violence. We can teach all young people to recognise and critique harmful messages about masculinity and relationships, not just in porn but in their favourite films, in phrases their parents use, in music lyrics. We need more role models who show boys that there is more than

one way of being a man. We need to build critical thinking skills by having conversations, not shutting boys down”

– from Adolescence isn’t really a show just about Incels and online misogyny – and is showing it in schools actually the answer we’ve been looking for? – blog post (Our Streets Now charity on public sexual harassment, 7/4/25)

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• “The most common reasons schools seek my support as a consultant are interconnected:

1. Many boys are struggling silently – socially, emotionally, academically

2. Concerning behaviours are showing up loudly – eg aggression and misogyny

3. Boys feel schools are treating them more like problems than like people

   
   

A major tenet is that gender equality has gone too far in favor of girls and women, and now boys and men are the real victims in society. To address the seriousness of misogyny we must also address boys’ pain.

1. For some, Adolescence should be a wake-up call I don’t think social media should be the main focus of conversation. It’s much more a symptom of the disconnection so many boys experience. Whether they’re fans or critics of Andrew Tate, teenage boys are exposed to him and others like him with harmful sexist views. Many teenage boys have told me that although they hate his type of content, they can’t escape coming across it on the algorithm

2. We need to be careful Adolescence doesn’t skew our view of boys When I present some of my research on teenage boys with the public, some people are amazed to discover how deeply sensitive, compassionate, and emotionally rich and considerate teenage boys are

3. No, please don’t show this series in schools For a lot of parents, watching this with your teen could be a powerful conversation starter and the right call. But showing this in schools feels more like a fear-driven reaction. This ‘scared straight’ type of approach rarely ever works to change behaviour. The content could be unnecessarily traumatic. It could backfire.

If you want to address serious issues like misogyny with any success, boys (like anyone) need to feel you care about them. And because they are so gifted at detecting insincere agenda-driven BS, you need to actually care about them”

– from If we’re not careful, how we respond to Netflix’s Adolescence could backfire – Re:masculine blog (Dr Brendan Kwiatkowski-Hartman, 12/4/25) – We like the scripts he has for General Conversations About Emotions included in his free resources here

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• “Adolescence could not have picked 3 themes more central to the zeitgeist – and more global in their reach. Hapless parenting, violent gender ructions and intergenerational angst are a mirror of our deepest human fears in increasingly turbulent times.

The impossibility of parenting Never before have parents been left so bereft of any capacity to understand what their kids are doing, saying or communicating

The anger of men (unleashed on women) After decades where the world focused on helping women and girls rise to a level of equality with men, there is an urgent need to pay more attention to the suffering and relative falling behind of men and boys

Generational decline Jamie desperately wants his father’s approval, but his dad is ashamed of him – he admits he can’t even look at Jamie. The son rips havoc through his life, family and community. The girl who dies is collateral damage in this tale of civilisational decline”

– from 3 Reasons Why Adolescence Was Hit Home In 80 Countries – Elderberries blog post (Avivah Wittenberg-Cox 13/4/25)

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• “The most effective way to challenge gender stereotypes, online misogyny, bulling and abuse is creating space for wide-ranging, honest conversations with all young people. Here are some resources…

•  What is the manosphere? About digital communities that promote harmful ideologies

•  What does it mean to be a man? Ideas that might come up in conversations and ways of challenging these stereotypes

•  Tips for countering online misogyny in the classroom Learn from Nick’s experience delivering lessons to boys and young men

•  Tips for building critical thinking Practical advice on helping young people analyse and challenge problematic ideas and where they come from

•  What does a healthy relationship look like? An introduction”

– from the sexual health charity Brook

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• “1) This show is designed to stoke fear It was designed to be terrifying, to provoke an emotional reaction rather than a logical one

2) We can look for signs that something’s wrong If our kids are being harmed by what they’re seeing and doing online, there will be noticeable signs, which we can then do something about through conversations, boundary-setting or other forms of support and help

3) Connection and communication are protective By connecting with our kids, talking to them about what they are doing and experiencing, and helping them learn to connect deeply with others, we can do a lot to keep them healthy and safe”

– from Three Things to Keep in Mind About Adolescence – blog post (Melinda Wenner Moyer, 8/4/25)

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• “We should ‘Wizard of Oz’ the manosphere figures – pull back the curtain and reveal their true motives”

– from I got 100 young people to watch Adolescence with me – what they said might surprise you (Independent, 24/3/25)

LISTEN IN…

• A wise psychologist considers Lessons from Netflix’s Adolescence – 33-minute Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting podcast (Dr Lisa Damour, 1/4/25)

• A political overview (which unfortunately overlooks the impact of porn on young people) on Why has Adolescence touched such a nerve? from minutes 15-33 (The News Agents podcast, 20/3/25)

• A fascinating cultural debate combining Catherine Carr’s feminist viewpoint with Richard Reeves’s take on boys in Adolescence and the Crisis of Masculinity – 44-minute podcast (BBC, 20/3/25)