10 things teens say about parents & porn
Why do I think it’s important for you to read the results of a study on porn with 52 teenagers from the other side of the world? Because in these fast-changing times, this New Zealand research is a relevant snapshot. Because it’s always important to hear what kids have to say – and it’s thought provoking to see how their viewpoints and experiences can apply to your children’s lives. Because the more you compare and contrast other people’s views with your own, the better able you’ll be to figure out where you stand and to start open conversations.
A new report from the New Zealand Classification Office (tagline: “Watch carefully; think critically”), Growing Up With Porn emphasises that porn has become normalised for kids whether they watch it or not. Although young people know that porn is fake, commercial and a bad guide to finding out about real-life sex, they still turn to it as a default learning tool.
Here’s what this diverse group of 14- to 17-year-olds had to say about parents and porn…
1) It’s hard to talk to parents
• “There’s a really big taboo around porn. I don’t talk about it with my parents or the adults in my life because I don’t feel comfortable talking about something that I feel like I’d get told off for” – boy, 15
• “If someone was sending you threatening messages on the internet, you’d say, ‘Mum, this person’s being scary.’ If you had a porn pop up, that’s probably a lot scarier to tell your parents” – girl, 16
• “The things that are associated with porn are just so negative. That’s why a lot of people don’t want to talk about it with the adults because it just feels like we’ll get majorly judged” – boy, 15
2) Parents need to think about the way they talk